Week 4 Recap
By The Numbers!
In my ever-present need to constantly tinker with things (see: roster moves so far this season), I am going with the reliable “here’s a number and why it’s important” format. Here we go:
375: Points by opponents playing Alex, the lowest points against total in the league. Yet, somehow, The 2018-2019 Seahawks have managed zero wins. If Alex were in the NFL, he’d be one of only two teams without a win. So now the race is on with the Arizona Cardinals to see who gets the first W. Fortunately for Alex, it looks like Bell will be back in week 8. Just in time to salvage the season I’m sure!
36: Alvin Kamara’s point total in week 4, the most by any non-QB. Whenever I go home for the holidays, I somehow get roped into playing board games with my parents. My dad, ever the pessimist, starts games slow, gets really frustrated, goes ‘This is why I never play. It’s rigged. The rules don’t make sense. They should change the rules.’ Yet, every time, he manages to win and it’s the worst. With that being said, I seem to remember after week 1, having a conversation with Kelly who was already calling the season. Paraphrasing: ‘I’m done, this team is trash. All I can hope for is sneaking into the playoffs.’ Kelly is like playing board games with my dad: the worst.
5.5: liters of beer I drank Wednesday at Oktoberfest. Things escalated VERY quickly and the next day sucked but while it was happening, it was an amazing mess of fun. I would also use this as a way to describe my fantasy team – an amazing mess of fun. We are living in a world where I have Giovani Bernard and Carlos Hyde getting me 35% of my production and I’m winning games. It makes no sense but I’m not going to be upset.
47: Total points for week 4 Mitch Trubisky, the most in the league. **Googles ‘who is Mitch Trubisky’** He was drafted in the first round?! Second overall?!?! What?! Man… I really don’t follow football. You know who else I haven’t been following? Kyle. I leave for 10 days and all of a sudden Kyle’s 2-2. How is that happening?! Wilson got him 10pts and he still won. But Kyle could do better. What I’m getting at is Kyle, drop Wilson and start this Trubisky guy. I think it’ll work out swimmingly.
138: average point total for Bowlsby and Matthew this week. That’s a lot of points. But you guys lost. I don’t have anything witty or funny to say about this. It just makes me sad for you guys. Oh also, Bowlsby quietly traded away Watson (his points leader) to me over the weekend for a bottle of Baileys and Florida A&M basketball tickets (a real team the Pilots are playing this year. Yeesh). So that’s cool.
17: % of total points Brian got from his kicker this week. Please insert your own ‘Brian likes teens’ joke.
That’s all folks! Glad to be back. Thanks Nick for filling in last week. I accidentally didn’t have my phone on airplane mode and had to use international data to read your recap. So you owe me $10. On to Week 5!
In my ever-present need to constantly tinker with things (see: roster moves so far this season), I am going with the reliable “here’s a number and why it’s important” format. Here we go:
375: Points by opponents playing Alex, the lowest points against total in the league. Yet, somehow, The 2018-2019 Seahawks have managed zero wins. If Alex were in the NFL, he’d be one of only two teams without a win. So now the race is on with the Arizona Cardinals to see who gets the first W. Fortunately for Alex, it looks like Bell will be back in week 8. Just in time to salvage the season I’m sure!
36: Alvin Kamara’s point total in week 4, the most by any non-QB. Whenever I go home for the holidays, I somehow get roped into playing board games with my parents. My dad, ever the pessimist, starts games slow, gets really frustrated, goes ‘This is why I never play. It’s rigged. The rules don’t make sense. They should change the rules.’ Yet, every time, he manages to win and it’s the worst. With that being said, I seem to remember after week 1, having a conversation with Kelly who was already calling the season. Paraphrasing: ‘I’m done, this team is trash. All I can hope for is sneaking into the playoffs.’ Kelly is like playing board games with my dad: the worst.
5.5: liters of beer I drank Wednesday at Oktoberfest. Things escalated VERY quickly and the next day sucked but while it was happening, it was an amazing mess of fun. I would also use this as a way to describe my fantasy team – an amazing mess of fun. We are living in a world where I have Giovani Bernard and Carlos Hyde getting me 35% of my production and I’m winning games. It makes no sense but I’m not going to be upset.
47: Total points for week 4 Mitch Trubisky, the most in the league. **Googles ‘who is Mitch Trubisky’** He was drafted in the first round?! Second overall?!?! What?! Man… I really don’t follow football. You know who else I haven’t been following? Kyle. I leave for 10 days and all of a sudden Kyle’s 2-2. How is that happening?! Wilson got him 10pts and he still won. But Kyle could do better. What I’m getting at is Kyle, drop Wilson and start this Trubisky guy. I think it’ll work out swimmingly.
138: average point total for Bowlsby and Matthew this week. That’s a lot of points. But you guys lost. I don’t have anything witty or funny to say about this. It just makes me sad for you guys. Oh also, Bowlsby quietly traded away Watson (his points leader) to me over the weekend for a bottle of Baileys and Florida A&M basketball tickets (a real team the Pilots are playing this year. Yeesh). So that’s cool.
17: % of total points Brian got from his kicker this week. Please insert your own ‘Brian likes teens’ joke.
That’s all folks! Glad to be back. Thanks Nick for filling in last week. I accidentally didn’t have my phone on airplane mode and had to use international data to read your recap. So you owe me $10. On to Week 5!
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